Rhonda's Breast Cancer Blog

2010-12-17T08:39:00.001-05:00

One year out and everything is good! I had a mammogram and MRI and both came back with no cancer.

Although you may think I would be completely relieved, I am not. I am happy with the good news, but I still have fear. I asked my breast surgeon how long we will be concerned and she said 5 years, but she also told me hormone positive breast cancer could come back anytime, even 20 years later. I guess it doesn't have a shelf life. Living with this thought certainly makes me appreciate and value each day even more. I know none of us know when our time will come, but having breast cancer is a constant reminder of just how limited the time may be.

I will have another mammogram in six months and another MRI next year.

2010-11-20T07:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had an endometrial ablation, which is a procedure that burns off the lining of the uterus. The result should be much lighter periods. Every woman who has had this told me it was the best thing they have ever done. I am hopeful!

A couple days before having the procedure I went to the hospital for pre-admission. One of the nurses had to go over the list of medications I take, which includes vitamins. As I started going down the list, the long list, she asked why I take so many and how did I know what to take. I told her about the breast cancer and about working with Dr. Kalidis. She wanted to know more. We ended up talking for about 20 minutes about the different vitamins, my experience with breast cancer, and how I chose my treatment options. Come to find out she has some breast concerns too and is very interested in natural approaches.

Yesterday as I was being prepared for surgery a different nurse went over the list of things I take and again was very interested in talking with me about all this. She too had had breast cancer. She had not been able to handle taking Tamoxifen and was interested in an alternative. When I mentioned Indole 3 Carbinol she said she had never heard of it, she asked me how to spell it and wrote it down. When my doctor came in to talk she didn't step away or leave my side, she wanted to continue hearing about what I take and why. She was still talking about it as they rolled me into surgery!

Jay said he loved to listen to me talk about my experience with breast cancer and to observe how closely the women listened. I was surprised how interested they were. I think the medical workers are interested in alternative options and they are not getting any education in this area.

It's obvious that I like to take advantage of western options, such as the endometrial ablation, and the alternative options, such as Indole 3 Carbinol. In my mind it is the best of both worlds. Hopefully someday (soon) the medical world will integrate the two!

2010-08-04T08:32:00.002-04:00

When people ask me how I'm doing, now it is always with that sympathetic tone, almost expectant of a terrible reply. I know it is meant as a gesture of love or sympathy. I always answer with an overly enthusiastic, "Wonderful, I am great." This answer is to help comfort them and also to put the conversation on level ground.

At this time I am great. Who knows what the future holds...for any of us. I am a little tender still. Wearing an under-wire bra would still be impossibly uncomfortable. But other than that all is good. I continue to take all the vitamins and watch what I eat... and I still do not eat meat...and I don't miss it. In December I will go back for another mammogram and MRI. Cancer will always be lurking in the shadows of my life, just as other tragedies I've experienced. I've come to realize though, that I do not want my life to be defined by my tragedies but rather my triumphs!

So, if you see me or talk to me, please ask me, "How's everything going?" with an enthusiastic tone that implies you expect to hear me tell you a long list of wonderful things, because that is how I plan to answer you.

2010-06-21T17:20:00.000-04:00

Almost 3 months of nothing new to report...until now.

A few weeks ago I started having some unusual vaginal bleeding. Last week it became extremely heavy, let's just say I couldn't go an hour without changing pads. Thursday morning I called the new Gyno with whom I had an appointment scheduled for July 7th and explained to the receptionist what was going on. She said to come in immediately. Once there the new Gyno (who I like very much) said we had to get the bleeding stopped. One option for most women is to take a Rx of hormones but since my breast cancer was hormone positive, this was not a good option for me. A D&C was scheduled for first thing Friday morning. I had no idea that a D&C requires you to be put completely under. The procedure was brief and I was home before lunchtime. Friday and Saturday I felt fine. Sunday I started feeling a bit run down. Today, forget it! I am out! I feel like I am on a boat, very dizzy.

Even though I feel very bad today, this morning I went for a mammogram and ultrasound. The results seem to be OK. Next week I will take the films and visit the Breast Surgeon.

I will visit the Gyno on July 1st. Prior to that I will have a vaginal ultrasound. Between the lab results of tissue from the D&C and the ultrasound she should be able to determine the cause of the bleeding.

It seems both my problems are hormone related. I am not sure if they are connected.

Stay tuned for more adventures on the high seas of Rhonda's health--did I mention I feel like I am on a boat today? Very rough waters!!!

2010-04-20T20:14:00.001-04:00

Not too much to update on breast cancer. I have completed my treatments, am taking 400 mg of Indole 3 Carbinol daily, and am on the follow up plan with the doctors. In June I will have a mammogram, in September I will visit the oncologist for blood work, and in October I will have a MRI. So far, so good.

That all said I will only update this blog after each of those appointments or if I come across some really awesome information that I want to share.

For now let's go with, no news is good news!!

Love to all!!!

2010-03-11T13:22:00.000-05:00

As you can tell from my lapses in posts, breast cancer is no longer dominating my life! I went to the breast surgeon yesterday and told her of my decision not to take Tamoxifen and to take 400 mg of Indole 3 Carbinol instead. She was very supportive and encouraging. I asked if she thought the oncologist would fire me as a patient and she said she didn't think so, that they have another patient who is going natural. I will see him on the 22nd of March, then a follow up with the radiologist on April 7th. After that I am good till June when I will have a mammogram and October when I will have an MRI.

So, I am declaring the cancer congregation has been banished from my body. To ensure that cancer has no place to congregate in my body in the future, I will continue eating lots of veggies, no sugar, and little caffeine, along with taking my 14 vitamins and supplements daily!

Love to all!!!

2010-02-24T08:02:00.000-05:00

Radiation is over...but the burn remains. The radiation treatments ended last Thursday. I am so glad that I don't have to interrupt my day to run to Sanford! The treatment area is still very sore, like a bad burn that is healing. Feels like I spent too much time on the sun deck!

Now for the next adventure on this cancer cruise...drugs! I have decided against taking Tamoxifen. I researched alternatives and found that one natural alternative to Tamoxifen is I3C (Indole 3 Carbinol, which is made from cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and kale.) I found positive information about it online, at Sloan Kettering and Life Extensions . I will take 400 mg of I3C and hope that my oncologist doesn't fire me and that my breast surgeon does faint! Neither Tamoxifen or I3C is a guarantee against reoccurence, which is scary, but there is no guarantees in anything in life.

In other news, I have been very busy with clients, the weather is getting warmer, and I can't wait to jump in the pool!

Love to all!!!

2010-02-17T09:33:00.005-05:00

"People deposit their misery somewhere in their body," says the character, Hallie, in author Sue Monk Kidd's first fictional novel.

"People deposit their misery somewhere in their body."

I think the cancer is suppose to be a wake up call to feel all the passion life offers but it is hard to "feel" when being so numb from the shock.

My thoughts suggest that this is just my first go around with cancer, that this disease is now a part of my life. I tell myself that these thoughts are just fear, yet my thoughts counter with it could just be 'innate knowing'.

So, what if this is just the first go around. Let's say I get through this and have a few good years before it returns. What do I want those "few good years" to look like?

Cancer asks; "What do you want life to look like?" "What is important?" "What really matters?"

I realize I have been pondering these questions but haven't answered them yet.

It is scary. Scary that precious days are being wasted. Scary to know that the days are indeed limited.

Perhaps I am feeling all this because the end of radiation is tomorrow. At least radiation is doing something to "control" the cancer. Maybe that is why women take Tamoxifen - it is like wearing a seat belt or not smoking - a sense of protection, but not a guarantee. That is my issue with Tamoxifen, no guarantee of protection, only a guarantee of horrible side effects. I don't want to compromise the quality of my life, nor do I don't want to compromise the quantity.

I thought I would be happy to finish radiation, but I'm sacred. After radiation there is nothing, just wait and see.

For all you positive thinkers, yes, I know I should think positive. But if we don't admit and explore our fears, they will deposit somewhere in our body!

2010-02-05T09:18:00.000-05:00

Just a quick update...I have 10 more radiation treatments to go, including today!!! Next week they will start targeting just the incision site, no longer the whole breast. I haven't experienced any side effects, other than my breast feeling very tender, but no sunburn or fatigue...so far!

In my continuing quest for well being I found a website for Tongue Diagnosis. Yes, tongue diagnosis. You may be wondering why I would even think of that. Well...here is why...when I first saw the nutritionist they examined my tongue. My tongue has been a source of embarrassment for me because I have what is called a "geographic tongue". That means I am sensitive to certain foods such as citrus, tomatoes, some chocolate, etc. Sometimes when I have these foods my tongue blisters. Beyond that I have always had a deep crack down the middle and cracks on the sides. So you can see why it is embarrassing...not exactly a pretty thing. The girl at the nutritionist said the Chinese medicine doctors would have a field day with me, but that when I get my health straightened out my tongue will improve! That sounded good, although I wasn't sure I believed her. So, last night I went online and found a site to tell me what it all means. The site is http://beyondwellbeing.com/herbs/tongue-diagnosis.shtml Check it out...you may want to diagnose your own tongue! I was quite surprised when I pulled out the mirror to evaluate my tongue, that the side cracks are almost gone and the center crack is much smaller! All those vitamins, supplements, and dietary changes must be working!

That's all I've got today...gotta run...to get ready for appointments!

Love to all!!!

2010-01-27T11:14:00.000-05:00

Today is number 17 of 33 radiation treatments and still so far so good!

Monday when I met the rad doctor, he asked the usual, "How's your energy?" question. I knew he would as they always do on Mondays, so I had the answer ready! "I feel great!" I said. "My energy level is wonderful, I think it is all the vitamins and supplements Dr. Kalidis has me on." To which he replied, "Well if you think that is working." I had to laugh under my breath. Of course I think it is working! He and I just have a personality clash which now I simply find amusing!

Seriously though, I do believe the vitamins I am taking are helping. Everyone around me has been sick with colds and sneezing and such and I haven't gotten anything. I think it also helps that I don't have to get up and be in the car by 6:40am anymore. I can live on my own biological clock which goes to bed at 11-11:30 and gets up at 7-7:30. Another thing that I think helps is my diet changes. I no longer eat any meat, except fish and/or seafood once or twice a week, plus I strictly limit my refined sugar intake, and have reduced caffeine to just my morning cup of coffee. After I eat I don't feel tired or sluggish, I feel energetic. I truly feel more energy than I have felt in a long time.

I am still working on the spiritual health. I recently picked up "Spirituality & Health" magazine whose tag line is, "The Soul/Body Connection". I have read some very contemplative articles. One is by the Rabbi Rami Shapiro in which he enlightens the relevance of the 10 Commandments. Example: 1. God is the source of liberation. Aware of the suffering caused by enslavement to things and ideas, I vow to to free myself from all addictions and compulsive behaviors, both material and spiritual. Wow! What an awesome way to bring relevance to the first commandment. Another example: 4. Remember the Sabbath. Aware of the suffering caused by slavish attachment to work, consumption, and technology, I vow to set aside the Sabbath as a day of personal freedom, creativity, and play. Wouldn't we all benefit from that!!! This was in the January/February 2010 magazine, which I got at Books A Million. There is more I want to share, but am out of time...got to meet a client in 20 minutes.

I want to end by saying every wound offers an opportunity to heal, not only the healing of the current wound but many of the wounds that came before.

Love to all!!!

2010-01-22T16:27:00.001-05:00

Today was number 14 of 33 of radiation treatments. Almost half way through. So far it hasn't been too bad, except for some random pain which happened on Monday that the doctor can't explain. The pain felt like someone was shooting nails into my breast. It was so bad it would take my breath away and I would scream. Once the "nail" was shot in then the pain would feel just as if a nail was inside of me! Rubbing would not make it stop, but after a few minutes it would just go away. This happened all Monday evening and through the night to Tuesday morning. Who knows? Not me and not the doctor! Other than that I am only a bit pink in the radiation zone. I am using some Rx cream samples they gave me which may be helping.

This week I worked with clients in the morning, had radiation at lunch time, then worked with clients in the afternoon. My energy level has been very good. When I saw the radiation doctor on Monday (I will see him each Monday) he asked how my energy level was and told me it may hit me at about the 20th treatment. So I am good for at least another week. If the schedule goes well I will have my last treatment on Feb 18th.

In better news the pool is suppose to get filled next week! They say on Tuesday but I am not so certain about that. The Pebbletec has to be sprayed (and dried, I imagine) which I don't think is getting done til Monday. Either way by this time next week the project should be complete! I plan to sit by the pool and get some natural radiation and relaxation! Nature's medicine is always best!

Love to all!!!

2010-01-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

Last week I started the radiation treatments. They last about 2-3 minutes and it is like getting an x-ray. The machine moves to one side for a minute then rotates to the other side for a minute. While it is happening I feel nothing. Afterwords I feel tender and am starting to see a bit of pink, which may turn to a red sunburn with more treatments. I think of it like lying in the sun for 10 minutes, then 10 minutes more, then 10 minutes more. If each treatment is like 10 minutes by the time this is done I will have had 330 minutes or 5 1/2 hours of being in direct sun, so you can imagine what type of burn you would have.

Mentally I imagine the cancer cells getting fried after a day at the beach! Yes, the healthy cells will have to reproduce, but they will replace the cancer cells.

I do have some questions running through my head such as; How will they know the radiation killed all the cancer? Do they do another biopsy? Or do they just assume? I also have questions regarding the Tamoxifen; How do they know what my estrogen levels are? Is there a blood test for that? Aren't I at an age where my estrogen production will naturally start to decrease? Aren't there foods to avoid and foods to eat to reduce estrogen levels? Or is Tamoxifen just the blanket approach?

All that is on the physical level. I am also spending time asking questions on the spiritual level. In the book, "Love, Medicine and Miracle" author Bernie Siegel, MD poses such challenging questions as:

       1.Do you want to live to be a hundred?
       2. What happened to you in the year or two before your illness?
       3. What does the illness mean to you?
      4. Why do you need the illness?

As profound as these questions are, they may be better answered once I am past this rather than while I am in it. You know the ole, 'hind site is 20-20'. We would all like to think we would go through our challenges and come out with some profound life change or awareness...but what if we don't...what if it is just another human experience?

Everyone tells (reminds) me how strong I am. That is what they see. I don't always feel that way. What I feel is that I adapt well. In thinking of Maslow's triangle I have created my own, as a way one may deal with change. So far it goes like this...

Embrace Change

Accept Change

Adapt to Change

Lament Change

Rebel Change

I am not too often rebelling or lament, although on occasion I do, rather mostly I adapt which is a seemingly neutral position. I can see 'accepting' and 'embracing' as a more positive approach, but am not there. Perhaps that is where the profound lies. And perhaps it is easier to accept and embrace once it is past.

2010-01-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

Thank you to everyone for your emails and texts offering words of support and encouragement. It means so much to know so many people care.

Yesterday I went to the radiation oncologist but did not start radiation. They just did some markings and took x-rays. They mentioned something about more tattoos...I must have had a horrified expression because the tech quickly said that perhaps they could just do it with the tape markings if I would keep the tape on. Of course I replied, "I would rather have tape for 6 weeks than tattoos for life!" Hopefully that will work out.

Today at 2pm I will get my first dose of radiation. The burning begins. I envision the radiation burning every cancer cell and new healthy cells generating. I must admit, however, that I am quite apprehensive, due to the unknown.

I am in the process of collecting songs to make a radiation CD to listen on the way to and from the treatments. I am open to suggestions on addition of songs. The theme is fire, burn, and smoke. So far these are the songs on the list:
Burning Love
Disco Inferno
Burning Ring of Fire
Baby Light My Fire
Fire on the Mountain
Stand Next to My Fire
Smokey the Bear (Jay's contribution--he may have to sing it too!)
Smoke on the Water
Abracadbra
Great Balls of Fire

Please submit you suggestions here or email or text me. This is meant to be funny, plus all these songs use fire, burn, or smoke in a positive context.

Love to all!

2009-12-23T20:49:00.000-05:00

Today I had my last immune boosting IV therapy.

Now I suppose I am ready for radiation which will start on January 4th. Last week I got my radiation tattoos, although I can's see what they look like because they marked big blue X's and cover them with clear medical tape. So all I can see is the big blue X's! One is right in the center of my chest, which forced to reconsider my evening dress for the yacht club Christmas ball. The new dress was actually quite nice!

I am ready for Christmas! Tonight we are celebrating with Victoria as she will be leaving for England tomorrow. We almost had to postpone her trip because Danielle had/has swine flu. Danielle was very sick and I was extremely worried and felt completely helpless, but she is better now, thankfully. I still worry that she is going to relapse because I know her and Victoria will want to be out and about.

Jay's son, Ben and his family are coming for Christmas day. We are looking forward to seeing the kids.

The following day we will leave for Ft. Myers to visit Jay's sister, Nancy and her guy, Fran.

That's about all the news here...the cruise continues, but currently with holiday festivities. Once the holiday is over I will resume my research on nutrition, alternatives to Tamoxifen, and will probably venture onto the deck of spirituality!

Merry Christmas and all my love!!!

May the coming year bring us peace, prosperity, and good health!

2009-12-14T20:14:00.000-05:00

I've been getting a lot of great email responses to this blog. Thank you!

Danielle left yesterday, headed back to England. After the airport I stopped by the mall to do some more Christmas shopping.

Danielle went with me on Friday for the IV nutritional therapy...she hates needles...said she was going to wait in the waiting area...next thing I know she comes into the IV suite and is crying...she sat with me the whole time (about 30 minutes) and cried most of the time. It was so sweet...I was comforting her...just like a mom does. I told her this was the good stuff, that she shouldn't cry but I think all of emotions just caught up with her. After I finished we followed my mantra, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!" We hit the outlet mall and Mall of Millenia.

I will go again tomorrow and Friday for more of the IV therapy. In addition to the IV therapy I am taking lots of vitamins, the list includes; Cellular Forte Max (mushroom extracts), CoQ10, Green tea extract, Curcumin, Indole 3 Carbonal, Fish Oil, Melatonin, and Evening Primrose. I had already been taking Resveritrol and flax seed which I am continuing. The list of DO NOT EAT is; meat, alcohol, sugar, soy, licorice root, red clover, pomegranate, and gingko (long term.) Giving up alcohol and sugar is difficult, especially sugar! I am still working on that, but am weening off fairly well, but haven't given it up completely.

Today I have been doing an adrenal gland test. For this test, I place a little cotton roll under my tongue 4 times at given intervals through out the day. I could not brush my teeth, or rinse with mouthwash, nor have caffeine, chocolate, broccoli, onions. I didn't think I could get through a day of no caffeine without getting a headache, but so far so good. The last test is at 10PM, then I can have chocolate!!! I am going to try not to drink coffee tomorrow morning...maybe I can quit.

Wednesday I have an appointment with the radiologist. They will do a CAT scan and we will decide the start date for radiation. I am dreading this, but in another way I am ready to get going and get it over with.

Most days I don't feel like anything is wrong with me. At this point it is much more a mental thing than a physical thing. All the company, Christmas, and the pool project are keeping me busy!

Love to all!!!

2009-12-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

Monday I met with the Dr. Kalidis. We discussed nutrition and supplements. I will be going there twice a week for the next few weeks to get IV supplements, plus I came home with a bag full to take daily. He wants to boost my immune system to prepare for radiation. I was supposed to meet with the Dr. Looper (Radiation Oncologist) tomorrow, but have rescheduled the appointment to next Wednesday due to having a coaches meeting tomorrow morning, plus the fact that I don't want to start radiation until my body is super charged.

Jay's sister and my brother have come and gone. We had wonderful visits with both of them! Danielle is still here until Sunday. We plan to do some Christmas shopping Friday!

Love to all!!!

2009-12-02T09:07:00.000-05:00

Nothing new to report here...but thought I better post since I am getting calls and emails requesting an update.

I am on hold. I have an appointment with the nutritionist (internal MD) scheduled for Dec 17. I am hopeful that I will get in sooner if they have a cancellation. I want to get going on boosting my immune system before I start radiation. My doctor told me it is OK to start radiation in January. I don't want to wait until January but do want to get my body in the best possible condition first.

It's a good thing I am not doing radiation yet as I am about to have lots of company. My sister in law, Nancy, is coming tomorrow with her guy, Fran. They will stay with us one night then head to Ft. Myers for the month. Then on Friday or Saturday my brother and his wife are coming for a couple of days. And as a big surprise, Danielle is coming on Sunday to stay for a week!

The last couple of days have been busy, long days working with clients, which is always a great thing! This morning I am going to spread some rye seed on my lawn since we are suppose to get rain tonight and tomorrow. I love to see the green, green lawn in the winter.

The pool project is in the phase where nothing happens for 10 days, but I am still so happy when I look out back and see what's been done so far.

As for the cancer cruise...I am still on board...but at least for now it is smooth sailing! Now if I could just sleep through the night and not wake up with all this on my mind!

Love to all!!!

2009-11-24T09:02:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I saw the oncologist and the breast surgeon.

The oncologist is a numbers guy. He did a great presentation on the statistical outcomes of chemo based on my particular case, which he described as 'one that makes them scratch their heads.' Since I have had surgery and plan to have radiation I have a 25% chance of re-occurrence, if I add Tamoxifen my re-occurrence chances drop to 15%, if I add chemo it drops to 12-14%. So chemo only gives a 1-3% benefit. He said most women choose to do chemo even though there is little benefit but most men choose not to. I asked what he would do and he said he would tell his wife to take it, then I said, "No, not your wife, what if it were you." He replied that he would not take chemo for such a little benefit. So, of course, I told him I am not taking it. He said I was not crazy to make that decision. But he does suggest Tamoxifen. I suppose a 10% benefit would be better than none, but I am reserving my opinion on Tamoxifen until I do further research.

The breast surgeon discussed another option. This one would eliminate the need for radiation and would greatly reduce the chance of re-occurrence in that breast. The option was nipple sparring mastectomy.
As wonderful as no radiation and slim chance of re-occurrence sounds, I don't like the thoughts of mutilation.

I can wait until January to make any decisions. If I decide before then to start radiation I can do so. The sooner I start the sooner I will finish.

I am currently reading "Knockout" by Suzanne Somers. I am just getting to the part about alternatives to chemo, surgery, and radiation. I am hopeful that I will read something that will help me make the best decision!

Happy Thanksgiving! This year be thankful for your health!

Love to all!!!

2009-11-19T22:20:00.000-05:00

I am a bit calmer today than I was yesterday. I know the oncologist will not be able to provide me with names of people to talk with because of Hippa (sp?) laws. I do, however, find it interesting that if you are hiring a plumber, electrician, builder, or even some one to cut your lawn or cut your hair you can ask for and get references, but not for doctors. You have to count on the recommendation of the referring physician.

I'm not interested so much in talking with patients who took chemo. I am more interested in finding long time survivors who did NOT take chemo even when it was recommended and what they did as an alternative.

I ran into an acquantaince today who asked why I wouldn't do radiation before chemo like they do in England. Makes sense to me. It was interesting to consider that they do it that way in England but not here. Makes me wonder why. She also told me she would pray for me. I felt very blessed by this because she is a super prayer warrior!

Several people have asked me what I think of the recent news of a government study regarding mammograms. Well, my first thought was, how interesting that in this time of the government talking about taking over health care they would suggest mammograms are not necessary before 50, then only every 2 years. It feels like socialist conditioning. They are trying already to sell us on the planned cuts! When I was in for the vaginal voyage, the tech told me that the day before they had a 15 year old girl diagnosed with breast cancer. Fifteen! Did the government consider how we are pumping hormones into the beef, chickens, and dairy products thus increasing our risks for cancers and at an earlier age? They are insane to suggest that it not helpful to do self exams!!! I found my lump. We know to check our breasts. It has been drilled into our heads. Thank God! Now they are going to suggest not doing self exams and waiting on mammograms. OK, fine, let's start with all the women and wives in government...let them wait till 50! Let's see how that works out. Study their results for about 10 years. OK a bit of a tirade tonight, but surely everyone is outraged by this report! I don't consider myself to be a crusader, just opinionated! If you know me, you know I have opinions.

In better news, the pool is moving right along. Today they put in all the steel and drains! They say the plan is to shoot the concrete on Monday! Looks like we will have a pool by Christmas! Maybe I should start planning a New's Years party!

2009-11-19T09:34:00.001-05:00

Someone emailed me and asked me how to get email updates from this blog so they wouldn't have to come directly to the blog. I can't quite figure out how to add a subscription button to the right panel, but I can tell you how to subscribe if you wish. Click the 'comments' button then below the post a comment box you will see 'subscribe by email.' Just click that link and sign up. Hope this helps!

2009-11-18T16:54:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I got to take a voyage...I had a transvaginal pelvic utltrasound! When you hear the word transvaginal doesn't it just make you think like Trans-Atlantic??? This voyage wasn't even associated with the cancer cruise! It was actually ordered by my GYN back in July, I just hadn't taken the time to schedule it before our trip to England then when we got back I hopped right on the cancer cruise and kind of forgot about the transvaginal voyage! I don't even really know why the GYN ordered the test, but I will know tomorrow morning because I have scheduled a visit with her to have my Mirena IUD removed. Actually delaying the voyage turned out to be a good thing, here's why...no one (neither I nor the doctors) had discussed the IUD. I had thought of it once or twice but I have been so concerned with my northern anatomy that I haven't paid attention to the southern regions! Since I had to go get this test, it brought my attention to IUD, so I came home looked it up online and turns out that this IUD is not appropriate for women who have or had breast cancer because it releases a hormone that may contribute to cancer or interfere with treatment! WOW!!! I keep learning how important it is to be your own advocate!

Today we saw the radiologist. He basically agreed with DR Rahm that it would be OK not to remove more lymph nodes, radiation can hit that area. He also said the radiation should not interfere with future surgeries when/if needed. Now, if he had just stuck to his topic of radiation I would have left there feeling like it was all good news, but no...he had to venture off into areas that aren't even his specialty! He said the oncologist will mostly likely recommend chemo now that I have been upgraded from Stage 1 to Stage 2. (Normally upgrades are a good thing but not on the cancer cruise...it means there are many more days of rough seas.) He made light of loosing your hair and feeling like shit. He even went on to say and I quote, "It's better to over treat." Is he crazy??? Well, I was seething! Seething to the point that I was getting an instant headache. I simply said that I was not having that discussion right now and that I would discuss it with the oncologist. Once Jay found out how irate I really was he told me that I handled the discussion with grace and professionalism. It's good to know that I can be gracious instead of ripping someone's head off!

I am still adamant about not taking chemo. If the oncologist recommends chemo, I plan to ask for references of 10 women with the same age range and diagnosis (between 45-50 with Stage 2 invasive, ER+, HER2 nuetral, minor lymph node involvement) who took chemo and have been cancer free for 10+ years. I also plan to ask him how many fit that criteria that did not take chemo and what their outcomes were. I want references! I would even like to ask him why he chose to be an oncologist...needless to say I have my thoughts as to why...$$$ Even sitting here thinking about it now makes me so mad!!! It is as if the medical community is just trying to find any excuse to suggest chemo! Having been diagnosed with breast cancer doesn't make me angry. But how they keep bringing up chemo makes my blood boil. It's like the salesman who won't take no for answer. No, I don't want to prolong my cruise. No, I don't want to ravage my body with chemicals that will make me sick, hence my same reasoning for not doing crystal meth! I know I have to work on this emotional issue. I know ultimately I get to choose my treatment. But having the chemo topic come up over and over again is as frustrating as a telemarketer's call during dinner...every night, night after night after night! Please stop!!!

OK, OK, enough...I will try to get off my tirade!

You know, you go to appointment where everything in your life is at stake..your quality of life and possibly even your life span, then you leave and continue with the tasks of the day, as if it were any other day. My day continued like this...I went to the fabric store to see if they had more orange, wide wailed corduroy for a jacket I have cut out but need one more yard, (they didn't, so I will look online). I went to pick out pavers and tile for the pool. I came home and helped Victoria cram for a menu test for her new job. Once Victoria and I finished, and she was off to work, I went to the back yard to survey the work that had been done on the pool today! This morning we had a back lawn, this afternoon we have this...I can really see a pool coming!

Thank you Jay, for giving me something to occupy my mind and something to look forward to!

Love to all!

2009-11-13T16:11:00.002-05:00

The cruise continues, some smooth sailing, some rocky seas, and I would just love to get to port so the cruise would be over!

Today I went to the DR for my surgery follow up,to discuss test results, and future treatment options.

Everything is borderline...the one lymph node that showed .3cm of cancer is just above the recommended non-surgery line of .2cm. In other words anything less than .2 they do not do surgery. She said 9 out of 10 times that she goes back in to remove more lymph nodes there is no further cancer, but one time there will be. Radiation may be able to catch any remaining cells. She advised that we discuss it with the radiation DR and get his opinion. As for the margins in the breast tissue having more cancer, she discussed that with a group yesterday and the consensus was to let the radiation take care of that. If more surgery is performed for the lymph nodes she will take more breast tissue too. If the lymph node surgery is performed it will be the bad kind where I would loose several nodes, have to have a drain, and have to be extremely careful with that arm for the rest of my life. I told her my vote is to NOT do that surgery. This was a great lead in to the next discussion....

I asked her if she knew of a good breast cancer nutritionist. She immediately recommended an internal medicine DR who specialized in complimentary services. She then went on to tell us about http://www.lef.org/ The text on their site says "Life Extension is a global authority on nutrition, health and wellness as well as a provider of scientific information on anti-aging supplements and therapies. We supply only the highest quality nutritional supplements, including minerals, vitamins, herbs and hormones." Dr. Rahm told us about some patients who have done very well by changing their diet and adding supplements. She recommended 2000 mg of vitamin D3 per day, plus tumeric, flaxseed, and avoiding acidic foods. We were pleasantly surprised at how much information she shared and how supportive she was. Jay said he likes her better every time he sees her. She even mentioned one patient who was opposed to chemo and how she boosted her immune system and had fantastic results.

There is just so much information to absorb, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with whole learning curve. Learning new software or how to use a new cell phone is nothing compared to this!

Gotta go company just pulled in the drive!

Love to all!

2009-11-11T09:11:00.001-05:00

More good news and bad news.

In good news my HER2 test is falls in the low to intermediate range and my OncoDX test is good. This means chemo probably will not be recommended. Tamoxifen is recommended, which reduces my chances of re-occurrence to about 13%. I asked what are the odds of re-occurrence without the drug but Dr. Rahm didn't know the answer to that. She is setting up an appointment with an oncologist, I will ask the oncologist.

In bad news, on further testing, one lymph node (of the 3 removed) showed .3 cm of cancer. Dr. Rahm is having that retested. If it is indeed only .3 cm then nothing further will be done, they will let radiation take care of it. If however it is more than .3cm then more lymph nodes will be removed.

In further bad news, the extra breast tissue removed came back with more cancerous cells. It is DCIS, in situ, which is the non-invasive type. Since the margins are not clear I will likely have probably another surgery to remove more breast tissue. Dr. Rahm said at least 3 times in our brief conversation that she likes to have clear margins.

To recap...good news probably no chemo...bad news probably more surgery.

I see Dr. Rahm again on Friday and should know when/if there will be another surgery.

2009-11-10T21:53:00.000-05:00

Today Nancy and I went to the Get Motivated seminar in Orlando. I didn't know how long I would last but ended up staying all day. After the seminar we came home and picked up Jay and went to Genuine Bistro for dinner.

The seminar was great and very motivational. Rudy Giuliani mentioned when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer how thankful he was for the knowledge so he could seek treatment...this really touched me...it was an interesting perspective...and very true...we can work with knowledge and sometimes what we don't know can hurt us!

Tonight I feel I may have pushed it a little too far today but am very thankful that I was able to attend the entire seminar and get filled with information and inspiration that I can use for my life and share with my family, friends, and clients!

The re-occurring theme of the day was to have faith in God, help others, and be thankful!

I am thankful that Nancy came down to help out in our time of need and I am thankful for all the love and support from all of you!

Love to all!!!

2009-11-09T10:50:00.000-05:00

Well I have survived two surgeries...one to remove the tumor and a second to remove more breast tissue and a lymph node to see if the cancer has spread, which thankfully the first report shows that it has not!

I am declaring myself cancer free! After all the tumor is gone and it isn't anywhere else! The medical world probably doesn't agree with me as they keep running more tests hoping to find some reason to suggest chemo. I am completely opposed to chemo. From what I have read we all have cancer cells in our bodies and our immune system fights them off unless there is a site of trauma (think testicular cancer for male bike riders and perhaps tight underwire bras for females) or a weaken immune system. I am learning how important diet is to our overall well being and how terrible the US diet is, actually contributing to cancer cultivation. I know I need to change my diet. I could spend lots of time reading and researching but I wold prefer to find a nutritionist who specializes in women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. If you know of anyone please let me know ASAP.

2009-11-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

Today is the thawing out day. All the anasethia seems to be out of my system and I can feel the pain. I haven't taken any pain pills today...I am trying not to take any more than necessary plus I don't want to just sleep all day. Not that I can do anything other than read and watch TV.

Yesterday I watched an interesting DVD on how nutrition can help heal cancer and I watched a Wanda Sykes DVD that Danielle sent, it was hilarious!

Nancy is taking good care of us. Her and Jay are off to the health food store now to stock up on all the healthy things we need.

I have declared that I no longer have cancer...they have removed the tumor and surrounding tissue and it was not in the lymph nodes...so shouldn't that qualifiy as no longer having cancer???

I am hoping to feel well enough tomorrow to go to the beach for a bit!

Love to all!!!

2009-11-06T10:09:00.001-05:00

Thank you everyone for your prayers, positive energy, and good wishes.

THEY WORKED!!!

I had my surgery yesterday. More breast tissue was removed plus I had a sentinel node biopsy. The sentinel node is the first lymph node that is on guard for germs and disease. They take that node to see if the cancer has spread to the lymph nodes. If they find cancer cells in the sentinel node they take out more lymph nodes. When the surgeon took out my sentinel node a pathologist immediately tested it and it was negative for cancer cells! This is the best news we could receive. Although I'm not fully cleared yet...the will send it to a lab to completely dissect it, so there's still a small chance that something will show up. If that's the case, then I will have to have more surgery. SO...keep up the prayers, positive energy, and good wishes!

Today I am very sore and tired. I have to keep my left arm elevated and can only type with my right hand. Sitting upright is making me kinda dizzy.

Next Friday I have a follow up appointment. Radiation starts in 3-6 weeks. Still waiting on HER2 test results and Onco gene test (to see if I am genetically pre-disposed to breast and ovarian cancer.)

FL Hospital was very warm and caring with the exception of the outpatient surgery waiting room, which was loud and bright! It didn't help that I was developing a caffeine withdrawal headache. In the surgery prep area they gave me a caffeine drip through the IV...that was strange, I started tasting coffee coming up from my stomach into my throat, and felt dizzy. I think it was too much so they stopped the drip. The good news is that I did not wake up with a massive headache like last time. I was glad to get real coffee this morning!

My pain med is hydrocodone but you know I am not much on pain meds...I am trying to take as little as possible.

That's my update for now...I am getting quite dizzy!

Jay was too exhausted to call anyone last night so I hope this update helps!

Please keep in me in your prayers, positive thoughts, and good energy. It is working!!!

Love to all!
Rhonda

2009-11-03T10:11:00.001-05:00

Busy...busy...busy today and tomorrow working with clients and getting the house ready for downtime including laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, and general cleaning. My sister-in-law, Nancy, is coming to stay a week, I am sure she will be a great help to us all!

Last night I spent some time looking up Tamoxcifen and Herceptin....OMG the side effects of those drugs are horrific including headaches (which I already suffer with,) depression (in 30% of patients,) blod clots, lung problems, and even the potential to develop other types of cancer! Needless to say I did not sleep good. I kept waking up with all this on my mind and wondering why surgery and radiation isn't enough.

Today I am working with a client who is a nurse and is extremely into to natural health and raw food. She has some information to share with me. I can't wait to hear about it!

I am still praying constantly that the HER2 test comes back normal and that the cancer has not spread to the lymph nodes...all prayers will be appreciated! I told Jay this morning that I need to go to the beach and put that out to the universe. Hopefully I can do that on my way home from Palm Coast today!

The closer it gets to surgery the more anxious I feel. I am glad I am going to be busy!!!

Love to all!
Rhonda

2009-11-01T20:29:00.003-05:00

My visit with my dad went pretty well. He is planning to leave tomorrow (Monday) morning.

I've felt better than I would have expected. I keep joking and saying that I am just getting over the first surgery in time for the next surgery!

We went to Inlet Harbor last night. We were all dancing and having a good time until all of a sudden I started feeling pain in my incision site...probably not a good idea to be bouncing around with surgery stitches! But we had fun!

I think the next surgery will be a bit harder to recover from. I read the beautiful brochure from the doctor which explains the lymph node surgery and it sounds like a difficult recovery. So this time I get a bit more lumpectomy type surgery plus the lymph nodes :(

In better news, my sister in law, Nancy, is coming down on Thursday to help take care of us! She will help with some cooking and cleaning, plus she if funny, and she is good for Jay. I have to make sure someone is looking out for him, cause let's face it, he is going through this too. She may be good for Victoria too, although for the most part I think Victoria isn't really processing all this, perhaps that's typical of a teenager.

Not much other than that is going on here. I have been too busy to think about what is facing me on Thursdsy ... maybe that's a good thing!

By the way...a shout out to my coaches group...sorry I won't make Thursday's meeting. Someone please email me and let me know what I missed!

Love to all!!!
Rhonda

2009-10-30T11:29:00.000-04:00

Thank you to everyone for your comments and support of my blog!

So far so good! The doctor called this morning and said the hormone test came back 'hormone receptor positive' which means it is the kind that doesn't need chemo! YEA!!!!!

Chemo is not completely off the recommended treatments yet. She is still waiting on the HER2 test results (this is news to me...I thought we were only waiting on the hormone test.) If the HER2 test is normal or negative then they will suggest Temaxofin, if it is overexpressed they recommend Herceptin which is a form of chemo. I haven't read up about these drugs yet but I will. I have seen the names in some of the info they gave me in the "cancer cruise" folder.

I will post more on the "cancer cruise" folder later, it is quite funny, but only if you choose to look at it that way!

Speaking of funny...yes, I plan to incorporate lots of laughter into my life. I instinctively felt I needed more funny stuff in my life the first day I found out about this cancer trip! My aunt Glenda who has suffered greatly with her health this summer, said she felt the same way when she got home from the hospital. Unfortunately, TV land is in a genre of reality TV consisting of a lot of shows about selfish bitches who have no grasp on reality, or shows of competition (you guys know I hate competition, I want everyone to win!), and shows about crime scenes. It is nearly impossible to find just good ole, laugh out loud TV. Two and Half Men is funny but they cross boundaries that I cringe about being on TV. I love Wanda Sykes and would love to watch her HBO special, but I don't have HBO and don't think I want to get it just for that, but if anyone out there has HBO and offers for me to come watch it with them I would love that! I love My Name is Earl. I love that there is no laugh track therefore you either get the joke or you don't. Of course, they canceled the show but it is still on reruns. If anyone has suggestions of funny shows please let me know.

Thankfully I have a client this afternoon at 2pm til 5pm. I need to work. It helps me keep some 'normal' in my life, plus there are still bills to be paid, and I always love working with people, it fuels my soul. So, if you are one of my clients, don't put off scheduling with me cause you think I am sick...we will work together to find the right time for both of us!

My dad called last night he will be here sometime today.

I am sitting here with wet hair and nails that need polished so I am signing off for now. I have so much more to share with you but will have to do that later!

Love to all!!!
Rhonda

2009-10-29T17:47:00.000-04:00

Everyone has been so kind, and caring, and concerned about my recent diagnosis of breast cancer. I can't begin to express how I truly appreciate all the love I have felt and all of the support that has been offered.

To help keep everyone informed and to reduce repeating my story and details over and over I have decided to keep a blog. Hopefully you will read this when you need an update so that when we talk we can have conversations like we normally do. I am kind of tired of cancer butting in to our conversations. Also please know that you can post any questions or comments you have here. Feel free to share all the wisdom, good advice, and stories you have, I welcome them all, cause you never know what is gonna help. When I am in the mood I will come to this blog and spend some time and when I am not in the mood I may be pretending that I don't have cancer!

I am writing this mainly to share with family and friends. Since most of you know everything up to this date I am not going to restate everything that has happened up to this point.

The basic information is that it is invasive ductile, the tumor was 1 cm, the grade is 3 (rapid growing cells) and at this point they are calling it Stage 1 because we do not know yet if it is in the lymph nodes.

Today I saw the oncologist radiologist...he was very good in explaining things. He told me about many studies and how treatment plans have evolved to where they are today. He reaffirmed my idea that breast cancer it treated basically the same all over this country. In other words there is kind of a standard recipe based on type, stage, and other factors. Jay was out of town today, he had to go to Memphis, so he wasn't able to go to this appointment so Robbie went with me. I am glad she went. She felt better about my decision to only remove more breast tissue and lymph nodes at this point. He said I am at a very good place because of the early detection. He feels like I have a 95% of no more problems. Of course this is based on just the information they have so far. That could change if it is my lymph nodes and if I have the type that they recommend chemo for. I started to write "if I have to get chemo" but I don't HAVE to do anything, I ultimately get to choose my treatment plan.

Still waiting for the hormone test...I know the DR has the results, they came in this afternoon but the receptionist isn't allowed to discuss the results and the DR is in surgery so I probably won't know till tomorrow. I so hope it is the kind that doesn't need chemo. I am ok (not really, but enough) with doing radiation but detest the thoughts of the barbaric chemo!

It seems so easy for everyone to say do what you have to do to save your life and I understand where you are coming from. I felt the same way when my mom was sick. But after I watched how it depleted her quality of life while getting the treatments, only to bounce back for a few months until they found it somewhere else, then more treatments, to die anyways, I am more than a bit skeptical. Plus I am the one who would feel like shit, loose my hair, and possibly gain weight. I know this sounds like vanity taking over but hey, my body is the house of my soul and you guys know how I like to make my house (and everyone else's) look the best it can. Going further with that analogy I also understand sometimes you have to go through the ugly, aggravating demo/reno stage in order to get something better. That said...I am holding out hope that they don't recommend chemo and holding out making an ultimate decision on whether I am going to take the poison.

The next surgery is scheduled for Thursday November 5th at Florida Hospital Orlando. With a follow up scheduled on ...get this...Friday November 13th!

Today my breast is sore. When I look at it I expect to see a big red spot, but from the outside it looks fine. The cut/scar is only a bit longer than an inch and is not very pink so it should heal pretty good. I do worry about how sore I feel inside. The doctor was very honest in saying she doesn't know why I am so sore. I think maybe she will find out when she goes back in. Now this may sound funny but I have been petting my left breast and telling it that I will do everything I can to save it and heal it.

My dad is coming to visit. He will be here today or tomorrow. I hope he understands that I will not be as hospitable I have been in the past. My mood swings from sad to angry to just wanting to be alone. I really want to work in the yard or sew, just do the things I enjoy but I haven't been able to due to the pain and my moods!

I feel like I am in a holding pattern here waiting for the storm to pass to get clearance to land. Landing will be when I have all the results and can get a plan together...you all know how I love plans and time-lines. I like to know what is happening next and when it will be done! God knows I wish the world worked that way...but he seems to keep reminding me that it doesn't.

OK that is it for today! Post your questions or comments!!!! I look forward to sharing with you here!

Love you all!
Rhonda