Yesterday I got to take a voyage...I had a transvaginal pelvic utltrasound! When you hear the word transvaginal doesn't it just make you think like Trans-Atlantic??? This voyage wasn't even associated with the cancer cruise! It was actually ordered by my GYN back in July, I just hadn't taken the time to schedule it before our trip to England then when we got back I hopped right on the cancer cruise and kind of forgot about the transvaginal voyage! I don't even really know why the GYN ordered the test, but I will know tomorrow morning because I have scheduled a visit with her to have my Mirena IUD removed. Actually delaying the voyage turned out to be a good thing, here's why...no one (neither I nor the doctors) had discussed the IUD. I had thought of it once or twice but I have been so concerned with my northern anatomy that I haven't paid attention to the southern regions! Since I had to go get this test, it brought my attention to IUD, so I came home looked it up online and turns out that this IUD is not appropriate for women who have or had breast cancer because it releases a hormone that may contribute to cancer or interfere with treatment! WOW!!! I keep learning how important it is to be your own advocate!

Today we saw the radiologist. He basically agreed with DR Rahm that it would be OK not to remove more lymph nodes, radiation can hit that area. He also said the radiation should not interfere with future surgeries when/if needed. Now, if he had just stuck to his topic of radiation I would have left there feeling like it was all good news, but no...he had to venture off into areas that aren't even his specialty! He said the oncologist will mostly likely recommend chemo now that I have been upgraded from Stage 1 to Stage 2. (Normally upgrades are a good thing but not on the cancer cruise...it means there are many more days of rough seas.) He made light of loosing your hair and feeling like shit. He even went on to say and I quote, "It's better to over treat." Is he crazy??? Well, I was seething! Seething to the point that I was getting an instant headache. I simply said that I was not having that discussion right now and that I would discuss it with the oncologist. Once Jay found out how irate I really was he told me that I handled the discussion with grace and professionalism. It's good to know that I can be gracious instead of ripping someone's head off!

I am still adamant about not taking chemo. If the oncologist recommends chemo, I plan to ask for references of 10 women with the same age range and diagnosis (between 45-50 with Stage 2 invasive, ER+, HER2 nuetral, minor lymph node involvement) who took chemo and have been cancer free for 10+ years. I also plan to ask him how many fit that criteria that did not take chemo and what their outcomes were. I want references! I would even like to ask him why he chose to be an oncologist...needless to say I have my thoughts as to why...$$$ Even sitting here thinking about it now makes me so mad!!! It is as if the medical community is just trying to find any excuse to suggest chemo! Having been diagnosed with breast cancer doesn't make me angry. But how they keep bringing up chemo makes my blood boil. It's like the salesman who won't take no for answer. No, I don't want to prolong my cruise. No, I don't want to ravage my body with chemicals that will make me sick, hence my same reasoning for not doing crystal meth! I know I have to work on this emotional issue. I know ultimately I get to choose my treatment. But having the chemo topic come up over and over again is as frustrating as a telemarketer's call during dinner...every night, night after night after night! Please stop!!!

OK, OK,  enough...I will try to get off my tirade!

You know, you go to appointment where everything in your life is at stake..your quality of life and possibly even your life span, then you leave and continue with the tasks of the day, as if it were any other day.  My day continued like this...I went to the fabric store to see if they had more orange, wide wailed corduroy for a jacket I have cut out but need one more yard, (they didn't, so I will look online). I went to pick out pavers and tile for the pool.  I came home and helped Victoria cram for a menu test for her new job. Once Victoria and I finished, and she was off to work,  I went to the back yard to survey the work that had been done on the pool today! This morning we had a back lawn, this afternoon we have this...I can really see a pool coming!

Thank you Jay, for giving me something to occupy my mind and something to look forward to!

Love to all!