Radiation is over...but the burn remains.  The radiation treatments ended last Thursday.  I am so glad that I don't have to interrupt my day to run to Sanford!  The treatment area is still very sore, like a bad burn that is healing.  Feels like I spent too much time on the sun deck!

Now for the next adventure on this  cancer cruise...drugs!  I have decided against taking Tamoxifen.  I researched alternatives and found that one natural alternative to Tamoxifen is I3C (Indole 3 Carbinol, which is made from cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and kale.)  I found positive information about it online, at Sloan Kettering and Life Extensions .  I will take 400 mg of I3C and hope that my oncologist doesn't fire me and that my breast surgeon does faint!  Neither Tamoxifen or I3C is a guarantee against reoccurence, which is scary, but there is no guarantees in anything in life.


In other news, I have been very busy with clients, the weather is getting warmer, and I can't wait to jump in the pool!


 Love to all!!!

"People deposit their misery somewhere in their body," says the character, Hallie, in author Sue Monk Kidd's first fictional novel.

 "People deposit their misery somewhere in their body."

I think the cancer is suppose to be a wake up call to feel all the passion life offers but it is hard to "feel" when being so numb from the shock.

My thoughts suggest that this is just my first go around with cancer, that this disease is now a part of my life.  I tell myself that these thoughts are just fear, yet my thoughts counter with it could just be 'innate knowing'.

So, what if this is just the first go around.  Let's say I get through this and have a few good years before it returns.  What do I want those "few good years" to look like?

Cancer asks;  "What do you want life to look like?"  "What is important?"  "What really matters?" 

I realize I have been pondering these questions but haven't answered them yet.

It is scary.  Scary that precious days are being wasted.  Scary to know that the days are indeed limited.

Perhaps I am feeling all this because the end of radiation is tomorrow.  At least radiation is doing something to "control" the cancer.  Maybe that is why women take Tamoxifen - it is like wearing a seat belt or not smoking - a sense of protection, but not a guarantee.  That is my issue with Tamoxifen, no guarantee of protection, only a guarantee of horrible side effects. I don't want to compromise the quality of my life, nor do I don't want to compromise the quantity.

I thought I would be happy to finish radiation, but I'm sacred.  After radiation there is nothing, just wait and see.

For all you positive thinkers, yes, I know I should think positive.  But if we don't admit and explore our fears, they will deposit somewhere in our body!

Just a quick update...I have 10 more radiation treatments to go, including today!!!  Next week they will start targeting just the incision site, no longer the whole breast.  I haven't experienced any side effects, other than my breast feeling very tender, but no sunburn or fatigue...so far!

In my continuing quest for well being I found a website for Tongue Diagnosis.  Yes, tongue diagnosis.  You may be wondering why I would even think of that.  Well...here is why...when I first saw the nutritionist they examined my tongue.  My tongue has been a source of embarrassment for me because I have what is called a "geographic tongue".  That means I am sensitive to certain foods such as citrus, tomatoes, some chocolate, etc.  Sometimes when I have these foods my tongue blisters.  Beyond that I have always had a deep crack down the middle and cracks on the sides.  So you can see why it is embarrassing...not exactly a pretty thing.  The girl at the nutritionist said the Chinese medicine doctors would have a field day with me, but that when I get my health straightened out my tongue will improve!  That sounded good, although I wasn't sure I believed her.  So, last night I went online and found a site to tell me what it all means.  The site is http://beyondwellbeing.com/herbs/tongue-diagnosis.shtml  Check it out...you may want to diagnose your own tongue!  I was quite surprised when I pulled out the mirror to evaluate my tongue, that the side cracks are almost gone and the center crack is much smaller!  All those vitamins, supplements, and dietary changes must be working!

That's all I've got today...gotta run...to get ready for appointments!

Love to all!!!