One year out and everything is good! I had a mammogram and MRI and both came back with no cancer.

Although you may think I would be completely relieved, I am not. I am happy with the good news, but I still have fear. I asked my breast surgeon how long we will be concerned and she said 5 years, but she also told me hormone positive breast cancer could come back anytime, even 20 years later. I guess it doesn't have a shelf life. Living with this thought certainly makes me appreciate and value each day even more. I know none of us know when our time will come, but having breast cancer is a constant reminder of just how limited the time may be.

I will have another mammogram in six months and another MRI next year.

Yesterday I had an endometrial ablation, which is a procedure that burns off the lining of the uterus. The result should be much lighter periods. Every woman who has had this told me it was the best thing they have ever done. I am hopeful!

A couple days before having the procedure I went to the hospital for pre-admission. One of the nurses had to go over the list of medications I take, which includes vitamins. As I started going down the list, the long list, she asked why I take so many and how did I know what to take. I told her about the breast cancer and about working with Dr. Kalidis.  She wanted to know more. We ended up talking for about 20 minutes about the different vitamins, my experience with breast cancer, and how I chose my treatment options. Come to find out she has some breast concerns too and is very interested in natural approaches.

Yesterday as I was being prepared for surgery a different nurse went over the list of things I take and again was very interested in talking with me about all this.  She too had had breast cancer. She had not been able to handle taking Tamoxifen and was interested in an alternative. When I mentioned Indole 3 Carbinol she said she had never heard of it,  she asked me how to spell it and wrote it down.  When my doctor came in to talk she didn't step away or leave my side, she wanted to continue hearing about what I take and why. She was still talking about it as they rolled me into surgery!

Jay said he loved to listen to me talk about my experience with breast cancer and to observe how closely the women listened.   I was surprised how interested they were. I think the medical workers are interested in alternative options and they are not getting any education in this area.

It's obvious that I like to take advantage of western options, such as the endometrial ablation, and the alternative options, such as Indole 3 Carbinol. In my mind it is the best of both worlds. Hopefully someday (soon) the medical world will integrate the two!

When people ask me how I'm doing, now it is always with that sympathetic tone, almost expectant of a terrible reply.  I know it is meant as a gesture of love or sympathy.  I always answer with an overly enthusiastic, "Wonderful, I am great."  This answer is to help comfort them and also to put the conversation on level ground.

At this time I am great.  Who knows what the future holds...for any of us.  I am a little tender still.  Wearing an under-wire bra would still be impossibly uncomfortable. But other than that all is good.  I continue to take all the vitamins and watch what I eat... and I still do not eat meat...and I don't miss it.  In December I will go back for another mammogram and MRI. Cancer will always be lurking in the shadows of my life, just as other tragedies I've experienced.  I've come to realize though, that I do not want my life to be defined by my tragedies but rather my triumphs!

So, if you see me or talk to me, please ask me, "How's everything going?" with an enthusiastic tone that implies you expect to hear me tell you a long list of wonderful things, because that is how I plan to answer you.

Almost 3 months of nothing new to report...until now.

A few weeks ago I started having some unusual vaginal bleeding.  Last week it became extremely heavy, let's just say I couldn't go an hour without changing pads.  Thursday morning I called the new Gyno with whom I had an appointment scheduled for July 7th and explained to the receptionist what was going on. She said to come in immediately.  Once there the new Gyno (who I like very much) said we had to get the bleeding stopped.  One option for most women is to take a Rx of hormones but since my breast cancer was hormone positive, this was not a good option for me.  A D&C was scheduled for first thing Friday morning.  I had no idea that a D&C requires you to be put completely under.  The procedure was brief and I was home before lunchtime.  Friday and Saturday I felt fine. Sunday I started feeling a bit run down. Today, forget it!  I am out!  I feel like I am on a boat, very dizzy. 

Even though I feel very bad today, this morning I went for a mammogram and ultrasound.  The results  seem to be OK.  Next week I will take the films and visit the Breast Surgeon. 

I will visit the Gyno on July 1st.  Prior to that I will have a vaginal ultrasound. Between the lab results of tissue from the D&C and the ultrasound she should be able to determine the cause of the bleeding.

It seems both my problems are hormone related.  I am not sure if they are connected.

Stay tuned for more adventures on the high seas of Rhonda's health--did I mention I feel like I am on a boat today?  Very rough waters!!! 

Not too much to update on breast cancer.  I have completed my treatments, am taking 400 mg of Indole 3 Carbinol daily, and am on the follow up plan with the doctors.  In June I will have a mammogram, in September I will visit the oncologist for blood work, and in October I will have a MRI.  So far, so good.

That all said I will only update this blog after each of those appointments or if I come across some really awesome information that I want to share.

For now let's go with, no news is good news!!

Love to all!!!

As you can tell from my lapses in posts, breast cancer is no longer dominating my life!  I went to the breast surgeon yesterday and told her of my decision not to take Tamoxifen and to take 400 mg of Indole 3 Carbinol instead.  She was very supportive and encouraging.  I asked if she thought the oncologist would fire me as a patient and she said she didn't think so, that they have another patient who is going natural.  I will see him on the 22nd of March, then a follow up with the radiologist on April 7th.  After that I am good till June when I will have a mammogram and October when I will have an MRI.


So, I am declaring the cancer congregation has been banished from my body. To ensure that cancer has no place to congregate in my body in the future,  I will continue eating lots of veggies, no sugar, and little caffeine, along with taking my 14 vitamins and supplements daily!

Love to all!!!

Radiation is over...but the burn remains.  The radiation treatments ended last Thursday.  I am so glad that I don't have to interrupt my day to run to Sanford!  The treatment area is still very sore, like a bad burn that is healing.  Feels like I spent too much time on the sun deck!

Now for the next adventure on this  cancer cruise...drugs!  I have decided against taking Tamoxifen.  I researched alternatives and found that one natural alternative to Tamoxifen is I3C (Indole 3 Carbinol, which is made from cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, and kale.)  I found positive information about it online, at Sloan Kettering and Life Extensions .  I will take 400 mg of I3C and hope that my oncologist doesn't fire me and that my breast surgeon does faint!  Neither Tamoxifen or I3C is a guarantee against reoccurence, which is scary, but there is no guarantees in anything in life.


In other news, I have been very busy with clients, the weather is getting warmer, and I can't wait to jump in the pool!


 Love to all!!!

"People deposit their misery somewhere in their body," says the character, Hallie, in author Sue Monk Kidd's first fictional novel.

 "People deposit their misery somewhere in their body."

I think the cancer is suppose to be a wake up call to feel all the passion life offers but it is hard to "feel" when being so numb from the shock.

My thoughts suggest that this is just my first go around with cancer, that this disease is now a part of my life.  I tell myself that these thoughts are just fear, yet my thoughts counter with it could just be 'innate knowing'.

So, what if this is just the first go around.  Let's say I get through this and have a few good years before it returns.  What do I want those "few good years" to look like?

Cancer asks;  "What do you want life to look like?"  "What is important?"  "What really matters?" 

I realize I have been pondering these questions but haven't answered them yet.

It is scary.  Scary that precious days are being wasted.  Scary to know that the days are indeed limited.

Perhaps I am feeling all this because the end of radiation is tomorrow.  At least radiation is doing something to "control" the cancer.  Maybe that is why women take Tamoxifen - it is like wearing a seat belt or not smoking - a sense of protection, but not a guarantee.  That is my issue with Tamoxifen, no guarantee of protection, only a guarantee of horrible side effects. I don't want to compromise the quality of my life, nor do I don't want to compromise the quantity.

I thought I would be happy to finish radiation, but I'm sacred.  After radiation there is nothing, just wait and see.

For all you positive thinkers, yes, I know I should think positive.  But if we don't admit and explore our fears, they will deposit somewhere in our body!

Just a quick update...I have 10 more radiation treatments to go, including today!!!  Next week they will start targeting just the incision site, no longer the whole breast.  I haven't experienced any side effects, other than my breast feeling very tender, but no sunburn or fatigue...so far!

In my continuing quest for well being I found a website for Tongue Diagnosis.  Yes, tongue diagnosis.  You may be wondering why I would even think of that.  Well...here is why...when I first saw the nutritionist they examined my tongue.  My tongue has been a source of embarrassment for me because I have what is called a "geographic tongue".  That means I am sensitive to certain foods such as citrus, tomatoes, some chocolate, etc.  Sometimes when I have these foods my tongue blisters.  Beyond that I have always had a deep crack down the middle and cracks on the sides.  So you can see why it is embarrassing...not exactly a pretty thing.  The girl at the nutritionist said the Chinese medicine doctors would have a field day with me, but that when I get my health straightened out my tongue will improve!  That sounded good, although I wasn't sure I believed her.  So, last night I went online and found a site to tell me what it all means.  The site is http://beyondwellbeing.com/herbs/tongue-diagnosis.shtml  Check it out...you may want to diagnose your own tongue!  I was quite surprised when I pulled out the mirror to evaluate my tongue, that the side cracks are almost gone and the center crack is much smaller!  All those vitamins, supplements, and dietary changes must be working!

That's all I've got today...gotta run...to get ready for appointments!

Love to all!!!

Today is number 17 of 33 radiation treatments and still so far so good!

Monday when I met the rad doctor, he asked the usual, "How's your energy?" question.  I knew he would as they always do on Mondays, so I had the answer ready!  "I feel great!" I said.  "My energy level is wonderful, I think it is all the vitamins and supplements Dr. Kalidis has me on."  To which he replied, "Well if you think that is working."  I had to laugh under my breath.  Of course I think it is working!  He and I just have a personality clash which now I simply find amusing!

Seriously though, I do believe the vitamins I am taking are helping.  Everyone around me has been sick with colds and sneezing and such and I haven't gotten anything.  I think it also helps that I don't have to get up and be in the car by 6:40am anymore.  I can live on my own biological clock which goes to bed at 11-11:30 and gets up at 7-7:30.  Another thing that I think helps is my diet changes.  I no longer eat any meat, except fish and/or seafood once or twice a week, plus I strictly limit my refined sugar intake, and have reduced caffeine to just my morning cup of coffee.  After I eat I don't feel tired or sluggish, I feel energetic.  I truly feel more energy than I have felt in a long time.

I am still working on the spiritual health.  I recently picked up "Spirituality & Health" magazine whose tag line is, "The Soul/Body Connection".  I have read some very contemplative articles.  One is by the Rabbi Rami Shapiro in which he enlightens the relevance of the 10 Commandments. Example:  1.  God is the source of liberation.  Aware of the suffering caused by enslavement to things and ideas, I vow to to free myself from all addictions and compulsive behaviors, both material and spiritual.  Wow!  What an awesome way to bring relevance to the first commandment.  Another example:  4. Remember the Sabbath.  Aware of the suffering caused by slavish attachment to work, consumption, and technology, I vow to set aside the Sabbath as a day of personal freedom, creativity, and play.  Wouldn't we all benefit from that!!!  This was in the January/February 2010 magazine, which I got at Books A Million.  There is more I want to share, but am out of time...got to meet a client in 20 minutes. 

I want to end by saying every wound offers an opportunity to heal, not only the healing of the current wound but many of the wounds that came before.

Love to all!!!

Today was number 14 of 33 of radiation treatments.  Almost half way through.  So far it hasn't been too bad, except for some random pain which happened on Monday that the doctor can't explain. The pain felt like someone was shooting nails into my breast.  It was so bad it would take my breath away and I would scream.  Once the "nail" was shot in then the pain would feel just as if a nail was inside of me!  Rubbing would not make it stop, but after a few minutes it would just go away.  This happened all Monday evening and through the night to Tuesday morning.  Who knows? Not me and not the doctor! Other than that I am only a bit pink in the radiation zone.  I am using some Rx cream samples they gave me which may be helping.

This week I worked with clients in the morning, had radiation at lunch time, then worked with clients in the afternoon.  My energy level has been very good.  When I saw the radiation doctor on Monday (I will see him each Monday) he asked how my energy level was and told me it may hit me at about the 20th treatment.  So I am good for at least another week.  If the schedule goes well I will have my last treatment on Feb 18th.

In better news the pool is suppose to get filled next week!  They say on Tuesday but I am not so certain about that.   The Pebbletec has to be sprayed (and dried, I imagine) which I don't think is getting done til Monday.  Either way by this time next week the project should be complete!  I plan to sit by the pool and get some natural radiation and relaxation!  Nature's medicine is always best!

Love to all!!!

Last week I started the radiation treatments.  They last about 2-3 minutes and it is like getting an x-ray.  The machine moves to one side for a minute then rotates to the other side for a minute.  While it is happening I feel nothing.  Afterwords I feel tender and am starting to see a bit of pink, which may turn to a red sunburn with more treatments.  I think of it like lying in the sun for 10 minutes, then 10 minutes more, then 10 minutes more.  If each treatment is like 10 minutes by the time this is done I will have had 330 minutes or 5 1/2 hours of being in direct sun, so you can imagine what type of burn you would have.

Mentally I imagine the cancer cells getting fried after a day at the beach!  Yes, the healthy cells will have to reproduce, but they will replace the cancer cells.

I do have some questions running through my head such as; How will they know the radiation killed all the cancer?  Do they do another biopsy?  Or do they just assume?  I also have questions regarding the Tamoxifen; How do they know what my estrogen levels are? Is there a blood test for that?  Aren't I at an age where my estrogen production will naturally start to decrease?  Aren't there foods to avoid and foods to eat to reduce estrogen levels? Or is Tamoxifen just the blanket approach?

All that is on the physical level.  I am also spending time asking questions on the spiritual level.  In the book, "Love, Medicine and Miracle" author Bernie Siegel, MD poses such challenging questions as:

       1.Do you want to live to be a hundred? 
       2. What happened to you in the year or two before your illness? 
       3. What does the illness mean to you?
      4. Why do you need the illness?

As profound as these questions are, they may be better answered once I am past this rather than while I am in it.  You know the ole, 'hind site is 20-20'.  We would all like to think we would go through our challenges and come out with some profound life change or awareness...but what if we don't...what if it is just another human experience?

Everyone tells (reminds) me how strong I am.  That is what they see.  I don't always feel that way. What I feel is that I adapt well.  In thinking of Maslow's triangle I have created my own, as a way one may deal with change.  So far it goes like this...

Embrace Change

Accept Change

Adapt to Change

Lament Change

Rebel Change

I am not too often rebelling or lament, although on occasion I do, rather mostly I adapt which is a seemingly neutral position.  I can see 'accepting' and 'embracing' as a more positive approach, but am not there.  Perhaps that is where the profound lies. And perhaps it is easier to accept and embrace once it is past.

Thank you to everyone for your emails and texts offering words of support and encouragement.  It means so much to know so many people care.

Yesterday I went to the radiation oncologist but did not start radiation.  They just did some markings and took x-rays.  They mentioned something about more tattoos...I must have had a horrified expression because the tech quickly said that perhaps they could just do it with the tape markings if I would keep the tape on.  Of course I replied, "I would rather have tape for 6 weeks than tattoos for life!"  Hopefully that will work out.

Today at 2pm I will get my first dose of radiation.  The burning begins.  I envision the radiation burning every cancer cell and new healthy cells generating. I must admit, however, that I am quite apprehensive, due to the unknown.

I am in the process of collecting songs to make a radiation CD to listen on the way to and from the treatments. I am open to suggestions on addition of songs.  The theme is fire, burn, and smoke.  So far these are the songs on the list:
Burning Love
Disco Inferno
Burning Ring of Fire
Baby Light My Fire
Fire on the Mountain
Stand Next to My Fire
Smokey the Bear (Jay's contribution--he may have to sing it too!)
Smoke on the Water
Abracadbra
Great Balls of Fire

Please submit you suggestions here or email or text me.  This is meant to be funny, plus all these songs use fire, burn, or smoke in a positive context.

Love to all!